With Rhii sitting at 78, so close to 80 I can taste it, I’m on the verge of deciding to hold back. To cool off. To take a break. To give her a rest. To drag my feet.
I’m extremely torn about it.
Here’s what happened. I started dating a WoW-player. Now Elleiras met her boyfriend in Underbog. They raid together, I believe. But not all WoW couples have to do things the same in game to get along okay outside it. Sideshow and Syrana seem to do well enough. Aurdon and Adreanna too. And Gevlon and his gf both play the game, though she quit raiding and he keeps it up.
My significant other rerolled to play on my server. His old server was where he’d played with his ex, and I can’t say I blame him for wanting to leave it. I like that we are into the same games. I like being able to link items to him in chat and talk over skype while we’re both questing. I like that aspect of it a lot. When he did it, I was having kind of a burn out phase with Rhii, she was stuck at about level 67 and had been for a month or so. I told him when he did it, that I didn’t know when I’d feel like playing Rhii again, but that she was always going to be my main and that I wouldn’t hold her back for him (or any other reason).
He rolled his little druid and I rolled a pally and we leveled them together to about level 25 or so. Which is when he took off like a rocketship and streaked through the levels fater than I thought humanly possible. My paladin struggled up to 30, then I caught a second wind with Rhii and off I went questing toward 80.
Skip forward about two months from the day we rolled those level 1s. Rhii is sitting at 78, Naelian’s at 72. He’s done in two months what it took me a year to manage. And I’m FINALLY doing what I want to in game. I get group invites, I’m making friends with other players I’ve PUGged with, so I don’t get so many “deathtard” tanks anymore. I’m addicted to the argent tournament. I’ve got my very first purple (granted, it’s crafted and I made it myself, but it is PURPLE!). I’m feeling powerful and successful and my adrenaline is at an all time high when I step through an instance portal.
And he’s upset.
He doesn’t want me to get so far ahead of him, he feels like I’m intentionally leaving him behind. That I’m determined to do as much content as possible before he has an opportunity to do it with me. That I’m being competitive. But I’m not intentionally trying to stay ahead of him. I am just on a roll. I just love instances. I just want to do my quests before they turn green. After all, he’s HAD an 80 before.
But what really concerns me is that I don’t think we’re going to want to do the same things at end game. His last 80 definitely didn’t do the things I was interested in. He loves Wintergrasp. I’ve never been in a bg in my life and I’m scared to death to try. He hates dying more than I do, I don’t mind wiping in dungeons if it’s because something’s a challenge (although I hate stupid unnecessary deaths as much as the next person). I want to get into heroics as soon as is humanly possible, and when he had his last 80 I don’t think he had never completed one. I don’t mind PUGging if it gets me where I want to go, he doesn’t particularly like playing with strangers and he hates talking in public channels like Trade or LFG. I hoard up money for things I consider really important (I still had money in the bank after buying cold weather flying and dual spec in one week) he is constantly buying armor upgrades in the AH. I want to read and learn and do things the most efficient way possible even if it’s already been done before. He likes to figure things out for himself and to do things his own way. I want to RAID….
Here’s an example of our differing attitudes to the game. We both went off to steal the Horde flames for the Midsummer achievement. We had some hilarious deaths, we had some frustrating deaths — especially in Orgrimmar and Silvermoon. I was loving it. I laughed, I made rude gestures at the Silvermoon guards from a hidden spot in the fountain, I took screenshots. Eventually I got all the flames. He was stressed, frustrated, angry, and convinced that he wouldn’t be able to succeed. He eventually got all the flames too. But even with the two hardest achievements under his belt (stealing the flames and Ahune) he doesn’t seem inclined to try for the Flame Warden title. But he doesn’t mind dying over and over in world PvP, whereas I feel humiliated and ashamed by that. There’s nothing wrong with the way he plays. We just like different experiences.
I don’t want to feel guilty for enjoying the game the way I want to play it. And I am frustrated to be asked to wait, when I don’t really think we’ll be playing together directly all that much even when we are the same level. Is he going to limit my guild choices to where he can go too?
But for now, I’m going to shelve this concern and I am going to shelve Rhii while I wait for him to catch up. The implications on the RL relationship are so much more important just now than what my hoofed-other-self wants. But I can’t help but be just a little bit worried.